I met someone via Match.com a while back and I dug her. I thought she was super cool, SUPER adorable, she even made me laugh, and I think we had plenty in common - Unfortunately I didn't get the same vibe back from her. Something told me she didn't feel the same about me.
I asked her out for a second date. She said she was busy. I am all about giving someone the benefit of the doubt so I asked her out again and was blown off. I asked her out a third time, and again she was busy. So I figured my Spidey Sense was on. Third time was enough for me to get the hint so I ceased asking her out and even chatting with her.
A couple days pass and she IM's me. We exchange some small chit chat, and I had to run so I couldn't really talk. Again a couple days pass and same thing. I don't remember if it was an IM, or email, or a MySpace comment. What I do know it brings a smile to my face when I see the message is from her. I just don't know what to make of the situation. I've been assuming it is either her just being nice or keeping me interested in case nothing better comes along. Either case, I still chatted with her but wasn't going to be asking her out for a fourth time.
Well, the little messages have continued and I am a stubborn goat, yes a Capricorn. I have to admit that with the latest message I thought to myself, "Man what the hell is up with this chick?!?! What is it she wants?" So guess what? I asked her out for a fourth time. I didn't get the immediate 'no' but I knew it was coming. The only assumption I can make is that she is isn't interested. That book, He's Just Not That Into You comes to mind. If she wants to hang out and be friends, then it's cool. If she is interested in more, then I don't think she is building the right foundation with her actions, or lack of action. But women work in weird ways and I am having trouble figuring out the code. Heck, I figured out how to program my VCR. Why can't I do the same with women? No matter which buttons I press, I just can't get them to stop flashing "12:00".
6 comments:
Don't worry Eddie, I'm not exactly having an easy time with the opposite sex. I'm still trying to figure out how to act around a guy that I see virtually every day that I just hooked up with one time. It's so wierd... it really is. I haven't the slightest idea how to act around him. Should I be flirty? Should I ignore him? Should I attempt to be friendly? I don't know what the appropriate etiquette is in this situation. It all feels very awkward.
I got his number from a friend because I had a legitamate school question that I needed to ask him specifically. I called him... voicemail. I sent a text message with the question I needed answered... no response. I called again later that night... no answer. He has my number stored in his phone so he had to have known it was me, right? So needless to say today I was a little pissed. he was sitting near me during a break in class today. I asked him if his phone was broken. I got a very confused look. I called you twice yesterday and sent a text message. He seemed honestly surprised. "oh, that was you?" He seemed disappointed to learn that was me and didnt answer. I dont know... seems like bullshit to me. Just for the hell of it I called him after class just to see if he'd answer the phone. He did and it was weird. I'm starting to hate him and wish I didnt have to see the guy every fucking day. I erased his number from my phone. I dont have it anymore so I cant call him.
Thanks for listening to the rant.
Eddie -- do these 12:00 girls read your blog? If so, maybe they're intimidated because they don't look like Leeann Tweeden and because they don't know the difference between the American League and the National League. Just a thought.... And, if they're flashing you (not exactly "flashing" like the VCR clock..*wink*wink), isn't that a good thing? Anyways, focus on the positive: the Marlins finally beat a team that's 6-10 in the East!
Maybe the problem is that everyone is unique and attempts to box them into "programming" categories is destined to failure -- especially if you're comparing a woman to a VCR.
What I don't get is why-OH-why don't guys just point blank ask the question. Why don't you just ask her?
-- Why not say:
"Hey, I don't get it -- you turned me down 3 times, then you start IMing and emailing me -- in a guys world that indicates interest. So -- are you interested in going out with me again EVER or what? -- If not, just say so -- it's no big".
This is why I hate the dating scene -- I can't meet a man who can just talk directly. Like Melissa's experience, I find guys generally just avoid communicating because they are scared of either 1. rejection or 2. of having a woman become a clinging vine.(The pain of either can be avoided by communicating).
When if a guy would just cut to the heart of what is on their mind and let the woman know -- that man will stand out as one of the few she meets in her lifetime who respected himself and/or her enough to be honest.
He saves himself from being another one of her long list of stories about uncommunicative men she met in her lifetime.
P.S. I know there are lots of women like this too -- it bugs the crap out of me either way. Maybe because I don't want to take the time in my life to bother with trying to decipher dating signal crap. I figure the person I'll end up won't bother with the dating signal crap either -- ergo, I'm still waiting.
Anyway -- just ask her, stop trying to read her mind, her signals or follow some crappy book's advice.
Thank you everyone for commenting. Yes some of these girls do read my blog. And my blog is not all about sports. Check my posts when I first met this girl. Then also check the posts about the 2nd girl I met on match. I also have posts on politics, teaching, and other topics.
As far as being open and communicative. That is what may have gotten me in trouble with Spectacular. I was very open with her and told her how I felt and, in my hind sight, it scared her away. Seems I may have been moving too fast for her even though she was the one using semafors telling me to kiss her already! And once I kissed her that first time, it was like opening a flood gate. She couldn't keep her lips off of me. But I was the one going too fast.
I also have told this "12:00" girl how I feel about her. We only had one date so there was not much of a basis but I could tell that I could like her.
Mikena, you are right that I have not asked her straight up. But, after our first date, I did ask her if she would like to go out again and she said yeah that she had fun. I guess, again with hind sight, that was my answer. She had "fun" which tends to lead more to a friendship than a relationship.
Again, I live, I learn, and I move on.
Coincidentally, a few days ago I had a similar conversation with a friend who was as cynical as they come, at times acted as "12:00" is acting, as "spectacular" acted and wondering, as you do, when men acted in those ways with her. Yet after all that time as a sour puss she finally found someone and is now happily married and has been for about 1 year. Wanna know the secret???
It just fell into place. Yes, it is that simple, they met, they spoke, they laughed and they fell in love. The best part is that they have nothing in common except for their love for one another.
I think that your time with "spectacular" was just a reminder of what you are capable of feeling, the tip of the ice berg. I don't think that the problem is your sports references or the fact that you post blogs, its simply that you haven't found the right one yet. When you do, it'll all fall in to place, you won't have to ask if she's interested because you'll know and it'll just be. She won't care if you weigh 239 lbs or 185 lbs (but she will root you on if you want to be 185 and not 239) and she won't care that you're still at home with Mom and Dad, she won't care that you are not a millionaire, she won't care that you suffer from road rage (lol...we all do), she won't mind your sports references or the blogs or coffee stains or tardiness on the first date...it'll just be.
Monique
Monique,
I agree 10000%. I felt that once, we met, we talked, and everything just fell into place. And yes her and I ended up together for a couple of years and I even asked her to marry me. She accepted but a few months later she ended it and dumped me. So there ya go, you find the women of your dreams and she turns out to be a fish.
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