Rage

Today I am filled with rage. Maybe it's because my parents are slobs. Yes unfortunately I still live at home. I don't know why no one in this house can ever put anything away. Everything is in the way. You can't go to the bathroom without having to move all of mom's makeup, and creams, and crap, and tissues. She has a vanity. She should use it. Dad's briefcase, suitcase, bag, his other bag, and his other bag have been sitting around the coffee table for a week now. In the hallway is a desk he bought about 10 years ago. The desk and hutch are still in their boxes, unbuilt.

Maybe it's because I am trapped here with no place to go. Rent in this city is super high. Any apartment will cost you 750 bucks a month. Which I know I can afford but then I won't have money for anything else. I am on the verge of just saying screw it and biting the bullet and having to make due with the 500 bucks a month I will have left over after I pay my rent.

Maybe it's because I am 31 years old and I don't have a wife, nor a fiancee, nor a girlfriend. It's father's day and it seems every male around me is a father. I have hopes of meeting that person one day that will make my headspin and my tummy tingle, but seems that when I do I am either not ready or she is not ready. It's all very frustrating and I am on the verge of, I don't know what I am on the verge of.

If not for the gym, I'd be even more pissed today. The gym seems to be the only thing right now that is keeping me grounded. The dating scene is not going as planned. Work is not going as planned. Heck, my life isn't going as planned. I am a smart, funny, honest, hard worker. I am loyal, loving, and affectionate. And I also don't think I am a bad looking guy. So why do I have such a hard time meeting someone?